


Thin Ice

by thankfullynotaredshirt



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-14 13:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17509697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thankfullynotaredshirt/pseuds/thankfullynotaredshirt
Summary: Michael is an ice skater with a big crush on a boy he keeps running into. When offered the opportunity to spend more time with said boy, he accepts it but at the cost of a clear conscience.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of the DGHDA Valentine's Mini Bang 2019. Lovely art was drawn by the also lovely 'dont-offend-the-bees' on tumblr, which you can check out over here.
> 
> http://dont-offend-the-bees.tumblr.com/post/182845209747/what-time-is-it-valentines-bang-time-as-well

17th January 2019, Seattle.

That morning, Michael had woken up in a highly uncommon not-grumpy mood. The sky was clear outside, not a single cloud in sight, bright light shining right into his bedroom through the curtains. His hair was finally styled the way Michael thought looked prettier, the humidity in the air doing him the favour of not ruining his handy work for once. He was excited to hit the ice.

 

Rocking a killer outfit for that day – form-fitting dark clothes and fingerless gloves, he made his way to the rink, checking his figure out in the reflex of a window as he walked past it. Great! Now what he needed to make his day perfect was to find the pretty _auburn-haired-boy_ he kept on seeing around the rink – often leaving as Michael is arriving.

 

Just as he prepared himself to enter the ice just like on any other day, he noticed that something wasn’t quite right. Instead of the silence he was used to, children were squealing in excitement as this tallish man played catch with them. He wore an awfully bold yellow shirt which immediately drew Michael’s eye.

 

It was _Auburn-haired-boy_ again!

 

Well over half an hour later, Michael was still entertaining himself by scuffing the blade of his skate against the ice, his back towards the boards and his eyes occasionally would drift over to the other man who would smile invitingly and then carrying on doing whatever it was he did.

 

Michael had ran into him plenty of times before, what was different this time was the fact that he hadn’t spotted him like he’d do every Thursday on his way in. He had just discovered why he kept on seeing him at the rink; _Auburn-haired-boy_ (the name his dumb head had come up with) couldn’t possibly be a figure skater, just as well as he couldn’t be part of the staff or one of the coaches because he knew them all by now. Nor could he be one of the guests – because _Auburn-haired-boy_ came in too often and always on a schedule.

 

He was proud of himself for his (very rare) brilliancy for putting two and two together and figuring out that the reason why he would see the pretty boy so often was that he was a teacher. Michael was also very pleased with whatever delayed the time on his watch, which caused him to get confused with his training schedule and appear a couple hours earlier – right in time to meet _Auburn-haired-boy_.

 

And in Michael’s way of seeing things, him being a teacher, is very convenient. Mostly because that gave him the opportunity to get to know him and talk about ice skating – and maybe ask him out on a date. But before Michael had any chance of starting to explore that idea, the other man, the Auburn-haired-boy, was already skating his way, an enthusiastic expression on his lips that went well with the brightly coloured shirt that he wore that day. His moves were graceful sways; it stunned Michael the ease that he had to move. The boy made it look so easy, and damn did Michael know that it wasn’t easy. At all.

 

The cheery voice snapped him out of his ‘send-help-pretty-boy-here’ trance. “Hiiiiii!” He had said, and it might have been the most adorable thing that Michael has ever seen/heard – or maybe his opinion doesn’t count since he’s so biased.

 

Oh, where was he? Oh right…

 

Shit!

 

He was there!

 

He had actually noticed him!

 

SHIT!

 

“Not that I am assuming that you adhere to the social construct of time but may I …uhm… ask you if you’re here for the 4:30 lesson?” and Michael barely had a second to react before the man practically ripped him off the boards and onto the quite slippery ice.

 

“I-I.” He stuttered out in a weak attempt of protest, but it was already too late… The sheer force of the dragging and the fact that he wasn’t expecting it caused Michael to tumble right into the stranger’s arms.

 

At that point, he didn’t even know the man’s name, yet there he was, arms on his shoulders as he attempted to get his legs back into working order. Fortunately, this unnamed not quite not quite brown-haired man’s arms were on his waist, keeping him up, avoiding disaster.

 

And surprise surprise, Michael doesn’t really want to stop clinging to him, certainly _NOT_ because his legs feel like mush because there is a pretty boy with his hands on his sides and also almost certainly _NOT_ because of said hands on his sides.

“Got you…” His hands slowly leave as Michael got himself settled properly. “I am Dirk Gently, what’s your name?”

 

“It’s Michael.” He informed, allowing a smile to curve his lips when he reluctantly had to let go of Dirk’s shoulders, watching him skate away with elegant backwards crossovers.

 

“Michael,” Dirk repeated with a hum as if he was trying out the name to see if he liked it. “Never met a Michael before, apart from the Michael Jackson…” He gave a shrug and carried on “Follow, try gliding towards me.”

 

With the awkward smile of someone who had just caught himself in trouble, he does as told. Michael found that he isn’t bad at doing so, at all. In fact, the lack of struggle coming from his part had actually caused to Dirk to raise an eyebrow in what he assumed to be astonishment.

 

He completed the lap with a shy smile on his lips, looking back at Dirk who just grinned and stuck a thumbs-up out, starting to worry for his own ass for the stupid kind of bullshit he had just buried himself deep into.

 

“You skate beautifully well, a man with impeccable taste and a dancer’s frame can only skate well.” Dirk had said in his beautiful British accent, the artificial white light in the rink shinning back in his blue eyes, giving them an almost angelic glow – or maybe it was Michael’s infatuated imagination doing it for him.

 

Since he had become aware of the fact that his eyes glow so pretty up close, he then proceeded to add that information to the list-of-things-that-made-auburn-haired-boy-whose-name-is-actually-Dirk-pretty. His head too busy to formulate a response that could get him out of the damned situation he had just gotten himself into, so Michael just stood there, staring in dumb silence at the boy before him.

 


	2. II

Every Thursday at 4:30, Michael could expect Dirk at the rink, and for a couple of weeks it all went surprisingly well for him since he’d get away with being close to former- _auburn-haired-boy_ -who-is-now-Dirk-and-Michael-should-probably-stop-calling-him-that-because-it-is-frankly-quite-embarrassing , and he’d pick ‘difficult’ things for him to do on ice – and then proceed to be amazed by his ability to mimic him.

He recalled particularly well the one time when Dirk insisted that Michael tried skating backward because he had become so good so fast that Dirk must have felt that he was ready to do so.  

Nothing had prepared him for all the physical contact it implied to be helped by Dirk – which was strange because Dirk didn’t quite seem to him like the kind of man who was touchy.

Sometimes he’d think back to that moment, a tiny smile always would escape as he can still recreate in his head the touch of Dirk’s hands as they went to his hips ‘for safety’ or the feeling of his chest to Michael’s back to lead him the right way.

 He didn’t _exactly_ need the attentions but he wasn’t one to protest the touch of a pretty boy…

Far from it. He actually tried to push his luck just a tiny bit, leaning back against Dirk’s surprisingly (well, Michael half expect Dirk to feel squishy…) solid body,  his hands coming up to ‘feel more secure’ or in other words, to feel up Dirk’s biceps. He couldn’t help it! Even hidden under his metallic blue sweater – also known as that day’s bold fashion choice – his arms still looked so muscular. At least Dirk hadn’t said a word about it, and so Michael escaped one damned awkward conversation.

The hour or so that the two got to spend together was the highlight of his weeks – so cherished that he _might_ have skipped his other responsibilities just to be with Dirk…

Anyhow, it was all going so well. So well as in Dirk would flirt with him and Michael would flirt back in his own weird way. That is until January the thirty first happened and Michael had a crisis of conscience as he ‘attempted’ to do as told.

Thursday, 31st January 2019

That day Dirk wore a soft pink pullover that really brought out the blue in his eyes, the reason why he remembered that particular detail wasn’t just as beautiful though, sadly.

Dirk dared him to try to do a tiny jump. Just skate forward and give a tiny pirouette a go.  Seemed pretty easy in theory… Except that when he moved he made one mistake: he smiled up at Dirk who was looking right back at him, lips tight as he bit back a proud smile. Shit.

SHIT!

When he picked up speed to do the pirouette and blow away Dirk, Michael’s stomach did a nervous did a nervous little flip and he barely had time to react before he was sprawled on the ice – he had fallen countless times before so that wasn’t the big deal, it didn’t even hurt! Yet Dirk raced to his side and helped him up after reassuring him with an awkward floor hug.

There they were, just Dirk looking at him like that, so devoted to the cause while Michael was leading him on, was enough to make his whole being halt and think back  on the implications of what he had been doing the past weeks.

He had suddenly made aware of a problem, a huge dilemma.

Michael had lied. Well, it wasn’t quite like ‘ _lied’_ but more like withheld information. Not very much like a harmless white lie, he’s afraid. His intentions weren’t necessary only good. He wanted Dirk for himself, and knowing that he stood no chance of having a pretty boy talk to him on any other occasion, he took the opportunity. Dirk was teaching him how to skate, but he already knew how to, he was a figure skater dammit, it was his life!

After that day, things started to change for Michael. The bugging weight picking at the back of his head in the long term caused him to lose all his customary graciousness. Before he would glide on ice like he was born to do it, but now he failed to perform simple tasks like basic footwork routines, losing him otherwise easily gained points for the regional championship.

The days passed and Michael’s – quite dumb – brain kept grinding over this new secret he kept, reaching the conclusion that he would rather Dirk knew from his mouth than from anywhere else, like for instance the Valentine’s gala for the regional championship that was just coming around the corner. He had to tell him first.

 “Dirk you’re not teaching me to skate, I already knew.” He had tried staring at himself in the mirror as he struggled to find the right words until the desperation peaked and angry tears would flow down his cheeks.  “Dirk, the reason why I…. no, not like this.”

He gave in. Starting to wonder if there was any escape for him but concluding that there was no way around it.

Thursday, 7th February

 

The day was a Thursday and the hour 4:49 and there Michael was, splayed on the floor instead of on the ice with Dirk. He thought he might have heard Dirk’s voice echoing on the long access corridors to the locker-rooms. His voice was so distinct to his ear, so enthusiastic in his own adorable way – that it reminded him of how he’d ramble on about being a holistic ice skater, whatever that meant – and it made him let out a sob.

“Oh Mona, he’s wonderful. Just absolutely wonderful! He skates so beautifully well, like unnaturally good but he’s not cocky over it just shy and sweet in his own darling-y way, doesn’t talk much either. And I am yet to find what’s my purpose with him.”

There’s silence for awhile. Was Dirk talking on the phone?

“You think I should? I don’t even know if he likes me back.” It echoes if not in the corridor then in Michael’s head. “Alright I’ll do it! Mona, thank you, you’re a dear!”

 Something in his gut traps him into the thought that the conversation Michael had just – not intentionally – overheard was about him. He knew that there was an extremely high likelihood that it wasn’t him, surely he wasn’t the only man Dirk’s life, but he did indeed check out on all the points. He’s shy; skates well and there might be a miniscule chance that Dirk found him sweet.

 That then brought to light a whole new problem; it was indeed very much possible that Dirk liked him, as in like _like_.

Shit, he was crying again. Just looking and feeling absolutely miserable.

Of course that then someone (and that someone is Dirk) decided to barge into the room, the door slamming open into the wall and the noise startling Michael out of his shit-state. He barely had time to wipe his tears and eyes before Dirk just wordlessly sprawled himself on the floor with Michael – he wondered if other boys did that too and he just hadn’t known of it because he doesn’t hang out with them that much.

“I have finally found you!” Dirk cheered, which was everything but what Michael needed at the moment. “Is everything… Is there a particular reason for you to be on the floor?”

Michael shrugged the questions off and turned to look right at Dirk – that turned out to be a mistake; he wished he could rewind time – who stared at him like he himself had hung all the stars in the sky and that was overwhelming for Michael who just stood there staring.

And then Dirk, who had meanwhile moved to lean over Michael’s spread body, pressed a kiss into Michael’s lips.

His first instinct was to gasp and his next one to chase after Dirk’s lips, eyes closing and hand trembling as it rested against Dirk’s cheek. Knowing that this would be his last and only chance to kiss him, and then he started to question if he should allow himself anywhere near the poor man, since he had been lying to him.

It would have been a beautiful moment in other circumstances, and Michael had been dreaming of it for eternities, except that it actually physically hurt him.

His heart was racing and his head pounding, there was so much to process and balance at the same time. Michael, after all, had been right; it was him that Dirk talked about with Mona on the phone. And he was kissing Dirk while crying and it wasn’t pretty.

It was disconcerting to but Michael cried out and pushed Dirk away – earning from him a tiny whine and the confused scrunch-y face of someone who was putting together words for an apology.

“Hear me out please, there’s something I need to tell you.” Michael attempted, Dirk’s expression then going from confused/heartbroken to a very glare-y one.  He moved away, to the bench – while Michael was still half sat up on the floor – that was closer to the door… in case he needed to leave, that aspect Michael didn’t miss. Dirk’s small nod told him to proceed.

This was it.

“I lied to you. I already knew how to skate, that’s why you think I’m very good. I’m a figure skater. I let you believe that I didn’t know how to because it meant that I’d get some time with you.” He admitted. “And I _know_ how wrong it was of me. Super wrong. I built our friendship on a lie because it was convenient.” Michael had to stop to breath. “Because I have a crush on you and I knew and know that pretty boys like you don’t even look at me twice because no one ever does, so this was my _egregiously_ _wrong_ way of doing things. I am not rejecting you. I’m just saying that you deserve so much better.”

Something that Michael discovered right then and there was how bright Dirk’s eyes shun with tears over – though he wished he had never found it out, not in this way… “How could you Michael? Waste my time, my trust? Use me like that?”

“I was selfish.” He stated, hugging his knees to his chest in the hopes that it would make him disappear. “I know that it won’t help, but I really am sorry.”

And then Dirk is gone.

 

 

 

 


	3. III

Thursday, 14th February 2019

Valentine’s Day that year fell on a Thursday, of course it did. Even the days of the week seemed to be mocking him for screwing it up with the only boy that liked him back. A whole week had passed since the ‘locker room incident,’ and Michael was still very much suffering for his mistake.

For starters, he had utterly wrecked his participation on the gala. It was so bad that it should have embarrassed him, but the only reaction it got from him was bitterness and only for a few moments. Not even picturing his name falling in the regional rankings got anything else from him. There was just staring numbly at his sealed fate.

Looking back, it all went downhill the moment Michael thought he had spotted Dirk’s familiar face in the crowd. Filling himself with the idea that maybe he could win back Dirk through his beautiful routine – except that not even in cheesy films things like that happen – he’d try to skate it perfect one last time. But once Michael fell on his ass for the first time, it was a train wreck from then on, either failing elements or just skipping over them in fear of the worst. The high hopes he had for such a feeble mind and body were what destroyed him the end.

Hugo, local dumbass and unfortunately for Michael the man who was in charge of training him that year, had already dropped by to churn out some words on how disappointed he was in him. To which he would have replied ‘yeah alright, take a number.’ If only he hadn’t lacked to the courage to. He barely had the patience for the man’s overall moronic-ness on a normal day, going all ‘Michael do this and not that’ and even less that day.

To top it all off he had even scraped his forearm on the ice too, but it didn’t hurt that much, it only stung a bit as it was starting to bleed so Michael busied himself making a poor work out of stopping the bleeding with bandage.

Alone, hurt and sad Michael sat on the bench toying with the beige cloth wrapped around his arm, pondering on what dumb Hugo had said; that Michael should have made an effort to crawl out of bed the week before and hit the ice – and thinking back, it would have done him wonders with his sour mood.

But when in those mornings he tried to find the courage to leave the bed it was also when he missed ~~his~~ (no long/never his) _Auburn-haired-boy_ and seeing him on the corridors every week.

He really should have practised or in the very least done something about it, but it was too late by then, wasn’t it?

A knock on the locker room door brought him back from his thoughts; he stood up immediately, glancing across the room towards the mirrors and wiping his eyes dry with the back of his gloved hand. It concerned him the number of tears he’d shed in the past month or so.

Michael’s instinct immediately tells him to be cold and push away whoever came in, but he couldn’t afford to be even more disliked could he? He remained silent, marching on top of the skates –that he still hadn’t removed out of laziness – to see who was at the door.

“Is Michael in here?” A familiar voice called; _naturally_ , because whoever ran this stupid universe sure did seem to have it in for Michael – it belonged to Dirk.

“Yep.” He croaked out, aware of how miserable he looked and sounded but he still let it be.

“I came to see how you are,” Dirk announced as he walked up to him, tall enough that with without skates on he’d still be taller than Michael with them on. It was just a little something he’d noticed, not that it mattered now...

“Not so great...” He mumbled, letting his body fall on the nearest bench, destroying all the progress he had made with the bandage because it was too loose at the bottom.

“You failed quite spectacularly.” It caused Michael to laugh a bit, before being reminded that he was supposed to be upset and so he went back to frowning.

“I am...aware.” He hesitated, a wordless quiet then settling in the room for a while, they could hear the faint cheering coming from the audience outside, but now that they were both silent it left time for Michael to think, and so he spoke what was in his mind. “You see this is why you’re perfect. I hurt you yet you’re still here, checking if I’m okay.”

“Did you expect anything less from me?” Dirk tried, his face going and squishy and just as hesitant as Michael was before.

“After last Thursday, I just assumed you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.” He admitted, and then the grimace on Michael’s lips made Dirk snort an amused chuckle out.

The taller man’s expression changed, and then he sat down, one arm reaching for Michael’s hurt one and busying himself by fixing the mess he had made – which surprised him because up until then he thought that Dirk wouldn’t trust him enough for physical contact. “And was that what upset you?”

That took him by surprise, Dirk just kept on surprising him. He thought Dirk didn’t care for stupid things like emotions and feelings, so in a way that was why he tried to hide that he was upset – even if he was rubbish at it. “Well yes but...” Michael attempted to explain only to be cut off by a suddenly dangerously cocky Dirk, speaking in a frankly adorable know-it-all tone. “I bet you’re wondering why I knew that. Well, your skating was way off; angry I’d say and failing where you normally wouldn’t. And I am pretty sure that you can do so much better. Also, you are terrible at pretending that you’re not upset, your voice is all squeaky.”

“What I’m trying to say is I’m here for you.” Dirk’s smile was wide and inviting, and Michael couldn’t help but lean against him and his bright green jacket. He then felt Dirk shuffling next to him, trying that cheesy cliché move of yawning and then putting his arm over his shoulder.

Michael butted his head against Dirk’s lightly who then quietens down and just sort of rests his head against him. “Thank you.”  He says, letting himself be hugged by Dirk which was great because Michael could use a hug... but also a shower.

“Should we...should we talk about what happened out there?” Dirk tried, quite hesitant to ask but also curious at the same time and Michael couldn’t deny that to him, could he? Not when he had been so kind. And it would also help to put things in order in his head, so he just started to spill out the terrible week he had had.

“Well like you said I was and have been... upset, on top of not having shown up to practices the past week, I’ve also missed practices to be with you because my dumb head associated skating with you and it made me sad. So I decided that I could go out with a bang, retire and work on Nana’s farmhouse. I had such high expectations for myself tonight that I forgot that I was in no shape for anything. And the rest is history...”

Dirk stumbled over his words, obviously thinking of the right way to place his next question. “Are you still thinking of quitting?”

“Am not sure. I’ve been thinking about it sure, but skating still is my life. And I don’t really see myself as a farmer...” He said between awkward chuckles.

Dirk didn’t seem entertained by that thought though. Instead, he looked saddened that there was a possibility that Michael would just go away. “I don’t know if it matters, but I would like you to stay.”

“I’m staying.” Michael rushed to reassure Dirk, mostly because looking the whole plan sounded stupid, he knew NOTHING about farms!

“That’s a relief because I wanted to ask if you have any plans for Valentine’s tonight. Maybe an alien boyfriend you have been keeping secret from me?” He heard the man ask and Michael just let out an amused chuckle.

“You need a boy who likes you for those.” He joked, glancing at his watch. “Where the hell am I supposed to find one in under an hour?”

Dirk touched his hand to Michael’s cheek, guiding him to look up at Dirk. “Right in front of you, Michael.”

It takes him a couple of seconds to process what had been said “Oh!” Michael gasped.

“So what’s your verdict? Would you go on a date with me?” Dirk insisted, his face having turned so cheeky adorable that Michael couldn’t possibly say no to. Their hands were joined, somehow and sometime in between all the talking that had happened and the simple fact made Michael jittery.

“Alright, I’d very much like that.”


End file.
